Originally, I was going to compile a collection of quotes that have shaped my life from a collection of sources, and I decided to start with Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo because it was the first significant book that changed my life. And since I couldn’t remember the quotes exactly, I thought I would browse through and find them.

That, however, just got me to read the entire book all over again. But wow, it’s been five years. It was a fun read, and it was great to revisit it because I saw a lot of things that are important, but I wasn’t at a stage to understand / implement when I first read it. I found a lot of good resources about working with people in general that I might be able to use in the future.

But of course, not to find a new somebody! I already have Mami, who is the most important person to me in my life, and irreplaceable. I decided that I would not leave my foot in the door when I started going out with her, and have never regretted that decision ever since. In fact, I believe that’s part of what has helped us to get this far. Despite that she’s always quick to threaten: “So why don’t we just break up, then?” Mami is Mami =D

Anyways, this is actually a fairly large collection of quotes from the book. Some are the ones that originally shaped my life the most when I read it. Others are quotes that I thought I would find useful in the future. All of them, though, I feel are very significant and important. Keep in mind that this book was written for men to help them understand how to effectively attract women. It is written in a neutral sense in that it doesn’t look to guide the reader in any moral way. Although David, the author, clearly states his personal views:

My perspective is also that it’s important to be honest with people about your views. And yes, this means talking to women about them. In my life, I’ve mostly had long-term girlfriends. And if I tell a women that I’m going to be faithful, then I am.

But if I’m single, then I see nothing wrong with dating as many women as I want.

I thought that would be important as context while reading through this information.

Also, in case you’re not up to making it all the way through, the final quote is one about maintaining a long relationship, and relationships with people in general. If there’s any one extra important quote to read, that’s the one, whether you’re male or female.

They’re in the order that they appear in the book, so I added the chapter and section titles to give some sort of organization to it all.

Part 1: How To Think About Success With Women

Chapter 1: Women Don’t Make Sense

Why Women Are Attracted To Things Like Fame, Money, And Power

“You must behave as if you confidently believe that you are the best thing for a woman, and that you are going to make her feel wonderful inside.

Women can pick up this particular belief, and they respond to it.

Ask yourself:

“How would I walk if I believed that I could make any woman feel great inside?”

“How would I talk if I believed that I could make any woman feel great inside?”

“What would be the expression on my face if I believed that I could make any woman feel great inside?”

“How would I act differently if I were the kind of man that women dreamed about?”

Then start doing these things. when you’re talking to a woman, imagine how good you’re going to make her feel. Fake it till you make it. Just do it. Women will notice.”

Chapter 2: How I Discovered What Works With Women

It’s OK To Be A Man

“It’s refreshing to hear a man being open about [a] controversial topic rather than hiding his ideas. It’s important to remember… “It’s OK To Be A Man.”

If you are who you are and make no apologies for yourself, you will be taken seriously. But if you approach the topic cautiously and act like you’re trying to see if she’s OK with your views, you’ll be seen as weak and insecure.

I’ve found that most women will accept you as you are, but if you try to act like someone that you’re not, then you’re found out, you will be treated with disrespect and ex-communicated.”

It All Comes Down To Your Skills

“If you have some area of your life that isn’t working for you, you probably need a new SKILL.”

-

“Most people are talking to themselves all day long. But most people are talking NEGATIVELY to themselves instead of talking POSITIVELY. Negative self-talk is, in my opinion, one of the primary causes of low self-esteem, giving up, and a lack of interest in even trying.

If you tell yourself something enough times, you’ll begin to BELIEVE it. This new belief will take on a mind of its own, and start creating its own self talk.”

Part 2: How To Communicate With Women

Chapter 3: How To Develop A Personality That Is Irresistible To Women

Be Different In An Attractive Way

“These are the different ingredients that women are attracted to.  It’s up to you to take what you have, and to use this list to augment your personality in such a way that it becomes attractive to the type of women that you’re interested in.”

Your Enemy Is Insecurity And Neediness

“Insecurity and neediness are the two biggest obstacles to success with women.”

The Six Things That Attract Women

“The good news is that as far as I’m concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game. Fortunately, it’s the one thing that you can change.”

Personality Traits That Attract Women

“The most successful men I know will tell you that they are only successful because they are able to accept ‘no’ and not take it personally.”

Chapter 4: How To Use Communication And Humor To Attract Women

Humor

“In my opinion, the one most important skill, no matter your looks, height, age, or income – is humor.”

More Nuggets Of Gold

“I believe that women like gifts not because they have value, but because they say “I was thinking about you, I have these feelings for you, and this gift is a symbol of that… So start telling women that you were thinking about them, that you were remembering times with them, that something reminded you of them.”

On Predictability

“People in general, including women, are attracted to the novel… the unusual… the different. Predictability is the enemy of interesting. If you always act predictable, then by DEFINITION you’re not interesting.”

Chapter 5: On Looks And Body Language

“When two people are communicating in person, most of the communication is happening through body language and voice tone, and very little through the actual words.”

Body Language Basics

“I’ve done a lot of work in the area, and I’ve found that by SLOWING DOWN, I create mystery and intrigue. I literally practice slowing down my walk, my gestures, how fast I turn my head, how fast I talk, even how fast I blink.

Also, start taking up more space and opening up your physiologically. If you’re seated, keep your legs and arms uncrossed. Keep your legs far apart and your shoulders back. Don’t lean forward, lean back…

Another way to demonstrate and project confidence is to PAUSE while you’re talking. Pausing on purpose creates suspense and tension.

It’s great. If you combine pauses with serious looks, you will create an air of power and confidence.”

On Cuddling

“When you’re talking to a woman, if you start talking about kissing, cuddling, touching… and you are very specific about it… “I like to run the tips of my fingers over the part of your shoulder where it touches your neck…” a woman will start to actually experience it…

If you can learn how to talk to women in a way that stimulates their imagination, you can get them turned on over the phone.”

Part 3: Exactly What, When, And How

Chapter 6: The Basics of Style and Class, Plus More On How To Fascinate Women

Chivalry

“My experience is that women love chivalry.”

Chapter 7: Where And How To Meet Women

“And contrary to what many men think, women usually love it that you’ve taken the time to learn things like what I’m teaching you. It makes things more fun and interesting for them.”

How To Meet Women

“Don’t try to hide the fact that you’re picking a woman up – be great at it, then get into cocky and funny (and reframe as them picking you up! Ha).”

The Initial Approach

“What I’ve realized is… if you’re going to approach a woman, what you say doesn’t matter as much as HOW you say it (remember the character thing?)”

-

“Just remember, the only power that any woman has in your life is THAT WHICH YOU GIVE HER.”

Two Ways Women Think About Men And How You Control This

“I believe that women see men that they get involved with as either ‘long term relationship’ material or ’sex’ material. You have to make the choice about which category you’d like to be in. By the way, if you get involved sexually, you can usually extend that for the long term.

If, on the other hand, you don’t get involved sexually, but you still buy her dinner, call her all the time, and pursue her, there’s a good chance that you’ll NEVER get involved with her sexually.”

-

“When I email them, for some reason they feel like we’re friends because we’ve emailed back and forth… don’t ask me to explain it… it’s taken me two and a half years to figure it out.”

-

“I’ll tell them that I was about to go do something (so I sound like I have a life) and then say “Well, let’s see… what’s your schedule for the next few days? (I choose a time…) Why don’t we get together tomorrow at about four. Do you know where the blah blah blah coffee shop is? Great… if we get along, then maybe we can go for a bite to eat… but you know, coffee is a safe bet… this way if you’re scary in person, I can say “Oh… hey… um… I just remembered that I have to go floss my cat… It’s really important…” and then we can call it a night.”

This makes them laugh, but it also gets them thinking “Who the hell is this guy to be qualifying Me?” which is perfect.”

-

“Next, when we’re getting ready to hang up, I say something like “Great, it’s going to be nice to get to know you better. And if nothing else, we can just be FRIENDS.”

When You Meet

“I’m just sitting there ACTING LIKE WE’RE BEST FRIENDS. When you act like they’re a best friend, they will rapidly get comfortable with you. I make fun of people, whatever. I just totally lean back and relax. I’m cool and relaxed, but at the same time making comments about how we’re going to be friends, etc.”

Places To Go

“I’ve learned that it’s more interesting to GO somewhere and DO something with a woman than it is to go on a ‘date.’”

Chapter 9: Keeping Her Attracted To You, Or “How To Have A Long Term Relationship”

The Beginning of the End, Or the End of the Beginning

“But first of all, here’s my take on why relationships fail:

When you first start dating someone that you really like, the body releases a combination of chemicals that are quite literally intoxicating. These chemicals cause you to want to be with that person all the time, stay up all night talking to them, and have sex three times a day.

But twelve to eighteen months later, the chemicals change. The intoxicating chemicals are replaced by ’stability’ chemicals. The ’stay-up-all-night-can’t-be-away-from-her-have-sex-three-times-a-day’ feeling goes away and the ‘lets-settle-down-and-have-two-kids-and-buy-a-minivan’ chemicals take over. Deal with it…

So now that you know this, how do you keep this whole thing from turning into an episode of All In The Family?

Well, the short answer is, keep up the fun, interesting, unpredictable behavior. Notice the details. Do thoughtful things.

Here’s something that I’ve learned in life: If you want to get back more than you give, then play the stock market. It’s not gonna happen in relationships. In fact, if you want to get a lot back, you’re probably going to have to give even more.

Most people are selfish, and they say “I’m not going to give more than I get.” But instead of getting a lot. all they get is old and unhappy. I’ve found that it’s much better to give a ton and get a lot back in return., not caring about the fact that I didn’t get as much as I gave, than to give little or none and get back little or none.

Relationships aren’t like investing. If you want a lot, get used to giving more. But it’s worth it in the end, because love and attention and humor and fun aren’t like money. If you give them out, you don’t have less. You have MORE. Get it?”

Categorized as Appendix, Storyline